"Sigh..."

Its 5.49 a.m and I’m still awake. Supposed to has a fight last night. I’m ready for it. For my brothers. But it’s not according to plan. Damm rich kid. Damm DRUNK kid. Maybe it’s hard to understand, but either you IN or OUT. There is no in the middle.

Actually, that is life. IN or OUT. DO IT or DON’T. You have to decide. Must have that Principe. How am I doing now? Doing fine I guess. It was a hectic week. Really. After got back from JB, I has to run a show that supposed be done by other people. Irresponsible. That’s the word. I’m stuck 4 days for that. But you have to follow the BOSS orders. That’s the work works. Play the game or out of the game.

A night before, me and the boys, we hang out at Puchong Hill. Nothing special there except it has excellent view. We just talked about out life. Have a drink and review back what has passed in our life. One subject been pop-up during that time. About “Black Heart”. It was a long conversation. It’s about your heart. When you born, you heart is pure. Really pure. Time passing by. Month become years. You’ve been through so many things. A lot of things. Heart that so pure slowly turning. Slowly become dark and darker. You don’t even realize until it become black. A Black Cold Heart. That’s what I’m afraid of. Lately I’m quite open. I’m open my mind to a lot of things. Things that I kept it closed before. Some of them good and some are bad. Actually I’m not really sure which one is good or bad. Quite confused this time. But what ever it is, I continue living this life.

Last week, on the same day as today I sent my mom to KLIA for her, my father and little sis Umrah. It was quite sad moment for my father. Only one of his siblings came, out of 12. In his eyes, I know there is still a hope. I don’t really understand this war between siblings. A Civil War. How can you fight between each other for so long when you come from a same bloodline? This where the Egoism come to the picture. FUCK this entire fucking ego attitude. When you become older, this thing becomes nonsense to me. Why you must kept things to yourself when there is a lot of ways to settle things. Why is so hard to say ‘Sorry’ when you know it will get rid of the puzzle? Why so hard to ‘Forgive’ when it can change the bad to good? Damm. It’s all about family. However, I learned a lesson there. As a one man show, I’ll protect my own from all this kind of thing. This family thingy now become priority to me.

Well, actually a lot of depressing thing was happened this week and yet so a few lovely thing to cheer thing up. However, notice the pink(or brownish?) shirt/dress with her new hair color picture just now make me smile a bit.Sweet like an angle. At least I know she’s doing fine. Sigh…

Now, 10 minute to 7 a.m. At 8 I have a paint ball game. Malas giler. Yang pegi buat tournament pagi buta apesal? Dah la on Sunday. Promise has been made. So, I have to commit. Penat siolll.. sometimes I wonder, sampai bile aku nak hidup macam nih? I don’t know. Time will tell.

"Thought"

Just woke up from a long sleep, check my mail, and notice an email from the CEO group has been sent to the team. Deep though.. as below :

When someone tells you that you can't do something...

Look around...
Consider all options...


Then GO for it!


Use all the things God gave you!


Be creative!

In the end, you will succeed and prove them wrong!


Always remember
"Where there is a will, there is a way"

“Whiner or Fighter?”

“RM 1,000,000.00 has been transferred to your account!”

That what I wish when I wake up in the morning and read my sms instead of;

“Bro, system at production server tak boleh log in”.

Problem comes straight to your face right after you open your eyes in the morning.

I’m in JB right now. Arrived yesterday. After about 6 hours driving. Normally it takes about 4

hours driving. From KL around 6.00 a.m, stop at Restoran Jejantas for breakfast. Than have a nice nap in my car before I continue back my sleepy driving experienced to JB.

Lacked of sleep, after fresh up at company apartment, drove to the client place. Do some checking for two hours, than drove back to the apartment.

Normally, my trip to JB is more like relax, some sort of vacation work, coz I’ve to manage your own work and time, of course complete it by the time I’ve going back to KL.

This time quite the same but not really similar. "Same-same but different". Hehehe. More task to be completed in a short period of time. My mission to JB is to done some Backup Management Verification thingy. Everything will goes as a plan if the hardware and software give me a full

corporation. But keep on dreaming. The hardware is quite old and sensitive, plus the Software is a JAVA based which is too slow to load plus I hate JAVA. I slept at 6.00 a.m last night configure this thing. As for now, I have completed 2 out of 3 task. And the last task is the tricky one. Damm.

Yesterday, I’ve had my dinner at the apartment café. There is one middle-age guy sitting next to my table. I heard he mumbling something to the café guy. After listening carefully what he was saying, he's mumbling about the management of the apartment plus bragging bout a big house , 2 or 3 other cars he's owned in KL. He not satisfied with the management here, which do

not allow him to park his 2^nd and 3^rd car. Mumbling about the neighbors here always complaining to the management bout him making noise. The more I listen, the more I want to smack his head. What the hell he’s doing complain things to the 'Roti Canai' maker? I just really hate people just complaining about his/her life with out doing thing and to mumbling to the wrong channel. It doesn’t solve a thing. Why is he bought a house here in the 1^st place if he hated the environment so much? Damm complainer! (Is this word really exist?) Damm Whiner !

Blue on black
Tears on a river
Push on the shove
It don't mean much
Joker on Jack
Match on a fire
Cold on ice
A dead man's touch
Whisper on a scream

Doesn't changed a thing

Those were the lyrics by Kenny Wayne Shepherd titled “Blue on Black”. This thing is what he trying to says. Things that the complainer/whiner guy did. IT DOESN’T CHANGED A THING!

Currently my employer has a financial problem. STILL! and give a huge impact to us,the employee. In this case either you want to be a whiner or fighter. Stay or leave. As for me, I choose to stay. Maybe some says I’m stupid. But who cares. Why? To me, this is an opportunity for my financial and my career. How? Top secret. Hehehe. Even though is just a plan, I busted

my ass for it and I did something instead of complaining and whining. So far, I can see the reward is coming. Bit by bit.

Well, it’s getting late and I have to complete below task before the sun rise. :

a) Completed stage 3 for Backup Verification

b) Completed FAQ section for the website of one of my client

c) Complete a system mockup for my other client

d) Prepare for the Backup Verification report (has to submit tomorrow)

e) Get some decent sleep (If possible)

Hmmm, still lot to do.. Yup you got to do what you got to do. Grab my supplement and start doing my job. , so later dude.

-My Supplement-