"Mind Crisis"

It’s 3.16 am in the morning. Still can sleeps. I try hard to sleep, but failed. My eyes were closed but my mind still processing. Do it what it do best. But normally, when people sleep, their mind still working. That’s what they said. I think a lot. Do a lot of thinking, even though when my eyes were closed. Got an appointment tomorrow. 10.00 am sharp at Putrajaya but still can’t sleep.

Try to call her, but her secretary answering the phone, asked me to leave a message. Been 2 weeks since we last spoke and it’s not really an enjoying conversation. So I decided to give her some space. Maybe when she ready to talk, my phone will ring.

4 hours ago, my housemate said he will be out of the house. Moving to a new house with his soul mate. He’s getting married. I’m really happy for him. 3 hours 59 minutes ago my mind also can’t stop thinking about what happened next. What will happen tomorrow? Have to find a new house or a new housemate. Thinking about marriage. Thinking bout the pay cheque that I haven’t received yet for last month.

My housemate, whom I called him Jag (he also called me Jag) was kinda straight forward person. Nice and quite religious. He also is a light sleeper. If I want to wake him up, I just said ‘Jag!!’, and his eyes will open. It really contrasts from me. Even you put a bomb right beside my ears and blow it up, I’m not really sure I will woke up. Have u ever received a ‘missed call’ total up to 80 times? I did. It was my girlfriend trying to wake me up. I think so far she is the only one can do that. How patient she is right? But now, I try not to bother her so much. Try to deal with my long long problem. Yup, I got this virus a long long time ago. It is hard for me to wake up on time especially early in the morning. Can’t really have a solution for that but what I did is workaround. If I got an early morning appointment, I will try not to sleep at all. But if I really tired, I will sleep in front of my door step. So if 'Jag' wants to go to work, he will definitely wake me up. So far, it’s works.

I also have other method. Try not to sleep at comfortable place such my bed. Sleep in living room, on my couch, on the floor or at my door steps. At first it’s ok, but lately I feel the impact of the action. My back really hurt. Still hurt until now. Back pain. Thanks to my mom knee patches, it’s help to ease the pain. And because of my other method, my bed becomes a place where I put my things on. At first only the bed, but now, my room become a store room. Still don’t have time to clean it up.

Now 3.50 am, I got more 6 more hours before the appointment. Means, another 4 hours to have a rest before getting ready to go. But still haven’t decided to sleeps or to stay up. I feel quiet tired now. Smoke first. Hmm…. I think I made my decision. I will choose my door step. Night all…..